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How to increase your child's emotional intelligence
Children and emotional intelligence, emotional intelligence tests and assessments, EQ coaching, training, distance learning courses.

We recommend genius babies for your child's emotional intelligence
Order NOW:  "How to Develop Your Child's Emotional Intelligence" 

Baby Gifts & Learning Tools

Emotional Intelligence Articles
Emotional Intelligence

I'm often asked how to develop your child's emotional intelligence or your baby's EQ, and so I've written an eBook, "How to Develop Your Child's Emotional Intelligence: A Practical How-to Guide." In it you'll find lots of suggestions, including that you join in with your child emotionally, engaging in their play.

              If a child is to keep alive his inborn sense of wonder, he needs the
                companionship of at least one adult who can share it, rediscovering
                with him the joy, excitement and mystery of the world we live in.
                                                           ~ Rachel Carson, American writer

Emotional intelligence is all about this joy, excitement and mystery ~ to be shared.  The rest, as someone famous said, "is just details."  

Susan is a featured columnist on writing on Developing Your Child's Emotional Intelligence.  She is syndicated on .  

Can your child tell how other people are feeling?

Empathy helps us relate better, but it also keeps us safe.  A recent
research study on gullibility found that it tended to increase
with the mental or cognitive age of the child. (Mills and Keil, Yale U., "The Development of Cynicism," Psychological Science Vol 16, issue 5, 5/05) Older children were better able to understand the concept of self-interest and bias.  A young child for instance, when told by his older brother "You should give me all your candy because it's got germs all over it," can think it through and suspect his brother might by lying in order to get the candy for himself.  This takes the ability to understand how the other person might be feeling.  It can keep us safe!

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Children of the World Sewing Cards
Why?  Multiple intelligences.  Seeing below the surface.   Good for eye-hand coordination, verbalizing, fine-motor skills, unisex, multicultural, thinking below the surface.





The "I'm Learning EQ©" t-shirt, our product.  Others will ask about it and initiate conversation, which is what EQ is all about.  Listen to your child answer, "What's EQ" and see how he's doing.  EMAIL ME.





Brainy Baby Video
You KNOW we recommend this one!  Click on picture to order.



                   Band in a Box
                   Please add to this a pot or pan and metal spoon!
Click on picture to order


Children have a natural affinity for music.  It's been with us (as humans) from the beginning of time, and requires no verbal skills whatsoever.  In fact, it expresses what words cannot.  Join Club Vivo Per Lei / I Live for Music and learn more about music, so you can share it with your child.  It's Free.




Every one of us should become proficient in at least one other language.  Get started early.  If you live in a multicultural area,  try and find a native speaker who tutors children. They have these books for several languages, not just Russian.

More products coming soon!

Emotional Intelligence Books


Won't you join the 
EQ Alive!  training and certifying emotional intelligence coaches?  GO HERE.

 The level of the parent's emotional intelligence heavily influences the degree of emotional intelligence the child is able to develop.  You can't NOT teach emotional intelligence, because it's how you interact.  



  • Check out the "How to Increase Your Child's Emotional Intelligence" Reading List

  • Order the eBook, "How to Develop Your Child's Emotional Intelligence"

  • Get Emotional Intelligence coaching for yourself; you can't take your child any further than you are

  • Take the EQ-Map to see what your skills are.

  • Take THE EQ Foundation Course®, increase you own and then pass it on

  • Check back here for regularly updated resources

"When kids remember, they connect information, when and where they learned it, and how they felt as they were being exposed to it."  --Maurice Elias, Ph.D., "Emotionally Intelligent Parenting," EQ Today


Gordon's Mom works with him on his emotional intelligence.  Just as she says "Getting hair cut" and "Climbing ladder" and "Eating peas" when he's doing those things, she says "Feeling angry" and "Feeling happy" and "Gordon is laughing" when he's having these emotions.

At the same time that she's teaching him the names of things, places, movements, and people, she's teaching him the words for his feelings.

Britta is 5.  She went with Gordon to get haircuts, and that's just how she felt--like an afterthought.  Gordon is 2 and awful cute.  Something very sad happened.  Gordon got a lot more attention than Britta did.  Britta was very jealous.  First she tried talking louder.  Then she ran over and got in the face of the beautician.  When her mom told her to sit back down, she got very angry.  Then she got silly and made faces.  When it was time to leave the beauty shop, Britta pushed Gordon down on the sidewalk.  Yes, it was intentional.  Her Mom saw her do it.


What should Britta's Mom do?




Your child's EQ can't be any higher than yours is.  Take the EQ test and see how you score.  Whatever your results, please feel free to discuss them with me.  

Choose an EQ competency, such as optimism and consciously practice it each morning with your child, explaining what and why you're doing it.  For instance, if you burn the toast, remember the 3Ps -- it wasn't personal, pervasive or permanent.  Say, "Let's do what Optimists do -- let's think about how great the eggs are!  When we get home tonight, we'll fix some good toast.  We always do!"

  Emotional Intelligence Articles:

"Olivia's Five and Learning Emotional Intelligence"

"Corporate Ethics, Your Ethics, Intentionality & Emotional Intelligence"

"Emotional Intelligence and Your Toddler"

"Grandmother, What Big Eyes You Have:  an EQ Tale"

"How Do You Help Your Child Develop Emotional Intelligence?"

"Spring Cleaning:  How to Do It with a Preschooler at your Side"

"Spring Gardening Ideas for the Family"

"Joy and Loss:  The Emotional Lives of Gifted Children," by Joshua Freedman, Ph.D. and Anabel Jensen, Ph.D.

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The Marshmallow test is mentioned in "Emotional Intelligence," by Goleman.  How a child performs on this test at the age of 4 is a better predictor of his or her future success in life than his or her IQ.

What researchers do is leave the child along in a room with a marshmallow, telling them they can either eat the marshmallow immediately, or, if they can wait till the man returns, they can have 5 marshmallows.

What this is testing is "impulse control" and the ability to "delay gratification."  It's an example of "frustration tolerance."  Much of what we want later on in life requires resisting the immediate impulse, and also being able to "delay gratification", i.e., when in college, you might have preferred to be off surfing in Hawaii, but, since you valued what a college education would do for you, you stuck with it.  And it meant giving up some things you might have preferred doing at the time! 

Some of the children can't resist, and take the marshmallow immediately or eventually.  Others last it out, and what do they do?  Count their fingers and toes ... get up and look out the window ... find a book in the room and read it ... look up at the ceiling ... they are very clever!  

Somewhere they developed this skill ... could it have been their parents?  

My mom used to tell me "When you're angry, stop and count to ten."  She was teaching me to stop and think before I spoke or took action.  I think she got it from Abraham Lincoln's famous quote.  This is a tried-and-true way to emotional intelligence ... stopping to think before you act or react.

Some children are naturally more impulsive than others ... and all can learn ways to manage impulsivity.  It's an EI skill!


  Robert Kegan, Ph.D., Harvard University considers it essential that individuality and connection to community be interwoven in the evolution of personal maturity.

Baby Gifts & Learning Tools



The Rainbow Fields

Swept into the magical world of Mrs.Murgatroyd, Lucy discovers that being alone doesn't have to mean being lonely.

Books on fear, loneliness, anger, hurt, grief, jealousy and guilt.

William's Gift

Check out 
The Emotional Literacy Series

Handle with Care: Emotional Intelligence Activity Book, Teaching and Learning Emotional Intelligence, by Freedman et al.

Emotionally Intelligent Parenting: How to Raise a Self-Disciplined, Responsible, Socially Skilled Child Maurice Elias

First Feelings: Milestones in the Emotional Development of Your Baby and Child
by I. Stanley Greenspan, MD and Nancy Greenspan



"Raising Emotionally Intelligent Teenagers: Guiding the Way for Compassionate, Committed, Courageous Adults," Maurice Elias, Ph.D.

The Optimistic Child : Proven Program to Safeguard Children from Depression & Build Lifelong Resistance by Martin E. Seligman

Probably you're modeling some good emotional intelligence competencies, but are you telling your child what's going on in ways they can understand?  For instance, if you're baking a cake to take to the new neighbor, explain what the new neighbor may be feeling (empathy) and how you think the cake will help.



Sam ... this is Sam at about 8 months old.  He would play endlessly with a pot out on the back patio, moving it this way and that, turning it, seeing what it could do. And it was a good toy for him for months!  He didn't need a lot of variety of new things, or things that clanged or made noise.  He was much more interested in seeing what the pan would do when he did this or that to it.  Focus was one of the strengths.  And, yes, he grew up to be interested in theoretical Physics -- interested in seeing what forces could be brought to bear on what objects and what transpired, and also taking a lot of analytical focus.  Analytical was one of his strengths.  He was analyzing what the pot could and couldn't do.  

Look at his solid position, physically, too.  Feet very firmly planted.  His Mom said he was "opinionated" -- made his wishes known quite clearly, and also when he was displeased.  Most of the time he was busy focused on something.  

When he entered nursery school at age 3, the teachers called him "Mr. President."  He had a sort of presence which showed up early ... as innate strengths do.  This would be the strength of Command.  These people prefer to be in charge of things, and have the sort of physical presence that makes people naturally turn to them for leadership.

Now look at this child --

Tamar is equally intent, and has Focus but here interests are more Intellection and Learner.  She wasn't so interested in manipulating objects as in reading about things.  She shows Deliberativeness.  She was cautious about new things, wary, always looking for pitfalls.  

What innate talents does your child show?  Are you encouraging them?  Some of the names of the strengths (StrengthsFinder™ Profile) are:  Connectedness, Relator, Harmony, Empathy, Achiever and Activator.

Taking the StrengthsFinder™ Profile yourself can help you understand  your child better and what his or her innate strengths look like.  CLICK HERE for the Strengths Assessment Package.  Includes 4 assessments, and a 1 1/2 hour coaching session and interpretation.  When you pay by PayPal, Susan will be notified and will notify you to schedule a time.


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